Well, the apartment yesterday was awful. "Studio" is wholly inaccurate; "slum" is a little better. It had damp problems and it was small and dingy. And very overpriced.

I found out about a nice flat being let by the brother of a friend, but I wouldn't be able to get the money together in time.

I want a home. Not just a dormitory, I want a home where I can invite people around for tea and live close to friends (which has determined where I'm looking for a place) and feel settled. And the more I look into it, the further away it seems. There's no way I can afford the kind of place I'd be happy living in long-term. Without moving into someone else's house, and I've tried that, and it's just not home.

I want a home. I'm so envious of friends of mine who have a lovely house together. I'm waiting and trying to trust God. I hate living this temporary life, feeling like i'm still waiting to be a proper grownup. It's very lonely.

So I might just end up on Christianflatshare again, moving in with someone I don't know, and the whole dreadful process starts again. Because what else can I do?